being a mom

i remember before i was a mom, i had all sorts of worries about motherhood. and one of them was how i would like it. not that i didn't like kids, or want my own, but i really worried i would feel "bored" and "tied down" being home with them all day! i didn't babysit very much but when i did as a kid and young adult, i did feel rather bored.. perhaps because it wasn't at my own home, or with my own kids, or cause the kids just wanted to watch tv the whole time, but it was a bit mind numbing to me! 

now that i am a mother i think how silly those worries were. i absolutely love being a mom. there's hardly a dull moment and i'm probably the LEAST bored i have ever been! every day is an adventure with these little ones, even if we never set foot outside our door!

and as far as being "tied down"... it's true, i'm very limited on what i can do. and at times i do need a break, but at the same time i don't think i've ever felt so liberated- to play such a substantial role in someone else's life gives so much more value to what i do and the person i am. i feel it drives me, motivates me, and inspires me to strive to be better in every aspect of my life. don't get me wrong, it's definitely challenging! but never in my life have i done anything so worthwhile.

i really do love what i do

and i am so grateful for my children. all their little examples of goodness are like rays of light to my life. i learn so much from them and so often i thank heaven that i
could be so blessed!

Spring Cleaning!!

**i picked this book up at costco before the holidays. i was feeling particularly overwhelmed and this book seemed to call out to me! i'm only about 1/4 way through it but I already love it! definitely recommend it to everyone!!

i'm going to risk sounding like a spoiled, ungrateful person but lately i've been overwhelmed with "things," {aka: "stuff," "junk," "storage"} --the large amount of stuff in my home i just really don't care about or need but hold on to.. i've been quite burdened down by it actually. and i've found myself day dreaming of a much more simplistic lifestyle. .  to just have what i need and be happy. 

so i am making an effort to simplify our home.  we have a lot of stuff. and i like our stuff!  so it's hard. but since i am committed to a simpler lifestyle, i'm making a greater effort to overcome my hoarder-ish instincts!! and i've come up with a few guidelines to help me and i thought i would share... 

1. Know what you have 

and

 Have what you need.

i'm a pretty "frugal" person so i have a hard time not wanting to keep things in case i need them. but i think that's one of my biggest problems.. it's not possible for me to keep all the things i do need or want as well as all the things i might possibly {someday} need or want. i do feel it's important to be prepared, and have essentials on hand in case of emergencies, but as far as most of the "i might want to use this later" items are concerned, the majority of ones i sort through are not essential.  and i think in order to know what i have, i need to limit my possessions a bit and organize them in a way that they are useful to me. if i have a box sitting in my garage and i have no idea what's in it, what does it profit me? if i want an item that's in it, i won't know to look there and since i don't even know what's in the box, i probably don't even know i have the item to begin with.. i'll probably end up just buying it again anyways!

2. Create a system: everything has a place.

this is a big help for me. i like order. i feel like it makes cleaning and time spent maintaining the home so much more productive. instead of scrambling around, shuffling, stuffing when i clean, it becomes as simple as placing things where they go. 

3. "Burden or Blessing???"

like i mentioned in the beginning of this post, i feel at times "things" can become burdensome. so when it comes to discarding, this question is one i always ask myself. as i envision how i would like my home to be, asking this helps me focus on filling my home with things that bless my life and bring me joy, rather than burden me down by making my life more cluttered and stressful.. 

4. Make do with the space you have.

confession time: lately i've found myself daydreaming of all i could do with a bigger house, bigger yard, more storage space...etc! but then i have to bring myself back to reality and realize that it doesn't really matter how much space i have... i'm almost positive we will always fill it! when we were first married we lived in a 1-bedroom apartment and it actually fit our needs well, but we filled it. then we moved to a 2 bedroom for a short time... we filled that. then we moved to a house... you'd think the amount of extra space would be substantial but i was surprised how little time went by before we filled that too! and so that's where i am now... 4 kids later, still trying to maintain the amount of space/stuff so that we can fit in our house. but then i talk to people who raised 6+ kids in a tiny little house and made it work and it further proves to me that it's not the amount of space you have but how you use it and at times limit the amount of stuff to what you really need.

5. Spring cleaning, with kids.

the book has some good tips on this subject, but i think overall, the kid stuff is just hard. at times i feel it is impossible! and often i feel like we're drowning in toys! i'm pretty self conscious about it actually.. but i'm starting to not be so much. i feel like it's important to cater our home to our family's needs, and right now for me, i mostly need a place where me and my kids can play and enjoy being at home because that's where we spend most of our time! so when people come over they probably think our house is one giant toy box, and it kindve is!.. but i promise there is order to the "mayhem" {generally... i'm a work in progress, sometimes it really is just mayhem!;) } but here's a few rules i try to follow to help maintain a good "balance" with the kid stuff..

a. limit toys to ones they know they have, and the ones they really enjoy. 

this is why we have soo many toys.. my kids know what they have.. and they generally love all of it! somehow in their little world of a zillion toys, they actually know each and every one individually! where and when they got them...where they've played with it...etc! so it's hard for me to get rid of things when they actually use them.. so i figure as long as they're using them a lot, they earn their keep!

b. "quarantine box"-- i prey on the weak.. you can bet as soon as a toy receives even the slightest neglect, i'm on it like a hyena on a hurt wildebeest! it goes in a box in the garage! it stays in there a while and i sort through it every so often and get rid of the ones that have slipped out unnoticed. i should note there are exceptions..  for instance, some "neglected" toys are so because they are no longer age appropriate. since my kids ages and interests vary and other exceptional reasons, i do put certain things away to bring out at a later time.

c. everything has a place. having their toys organized helps them know what they have and access them easily. this makes picking up so much easier too! if i can't find a place for something i have to discard to make room.

**and a couple more things i've been working on... 

respect sentiments- i can't place value on things for others so when discarding i try to be understanding when someone in my home really values something i don't. and also-- be more particular about what i buy to begin with... it might be haunting me a whole lot longer than i expect!! and i've found sometimes it's good to not spend a lot on items {not just to be frugal}, but it makes it easier to part with them when you want to! and be careful with clearance items, garage sales, thrift stores, and garbage picking! these are all favorites of mine so i've learned the hard way that i have to be careful!! if it's cheap but i don't need it, i'm spending money on and storing things i don't need. also, the cost may come to me later with a loss of peace and excess of clutter in the house. garbage is my favorite of these though {obviously cause it's free} but because it didn't cost my anything, i don't feel guilty if/when i need to throw it out! and lastly, remember quality vs. quantity.. i think it's better to have 3 good pairs of shoes that i wear rather than 20 that i don't!!

anyways, there's some tips that help me. easier said than done, right?! i am far from perfect in this!! so wish me luck as i attempt to "simplify" our home a bit more. it's definitely gonna take some time and effort but i'm pretty sure it will bring our lives much greater peace and enjoyment!!

how "balloon chasers" came to be

it all started back in 2012. early february to be exact. it was just a regular saturday in the backyard when we realized our dogs were beyond hungry and it was off to the store for a quick dog food run. on the way something caught our eye.. what was it?? a hot balloon! two, in fact!! i guess you can say my need for adventure got the best of me and in a split second decision we were at its heels! it was wild. "like seeing a deer in the forest!" is how i described it {as opposed to being in a zoo}... we  chased, conquered and little did we know this was the beginning of a much greater adventure!

since then, we've chased dozens and dozens of balloons. we know just how to read them.. to tell if its "chase worthy" or within chasing bounds and have pinpointing landing spots down to a science. shoot, our accuracy rivals that of the official "chase vehicles!" {without inside information even}
anyways,

 before discovery channel gets a hold of our idea,

i wanna be the first to go behind the scenes of a real-life Balloon Chase..

so it all begins with 
"THE SIGHTING."

 this usually happens from our backyard... then we watch it a while and determine
1. if it's close.
2. if its preparing to land.
 if it's both those things, then comes...

 THE CHASE!

 since balloon chasing is generally unplanned, this usually begins with me throwing the kids in the car, most often with gross un-brushed, "rat nest" style hair, mid-makeup or with lip stick haphazardly applied to everywhere but on my actual lips, spit-up covered clothes... not to mention the kids' loaded diapers and dirt ridden faces... in all actuality, a real-life balloon chaser can be a scary sight!

and... just like on stormchasers, the chase can be somewhat dangerous and unpredictable.... but it's worth it if you succeed, because then comes the best part...

 THE CATCH!!!

really the only purpose for the chase is the catch.

so you can be there when they land and go up to them afterwards!

and we've definitely had some adventures! 

...looking out our car window to see one soaring just above us, being asked to toast with newly declared "aeronauts," hanging out on the basket... even getting to be part of the crew that puts away the balloon! 

  

so before hollywood gets a hold of it and dramatizes it,

 there's an idea of what happens on a real-life balloon chase!

i know it's pretty weird and we must look like total dorks, but that's ok..
we love it!!

and if anyone asks we just say "we just do it for the kids!" ;)

parenting and media.

so, i have 4 kids.. ages 3 months, 2, 4, and 6... i don't think of 4 as being that many kids but its funny how many comments i get when i go to the store with them, are at the park, hiking.. or even from people looking into my window when stopped at a traffic light! the most common phrase i hear is "whoa, you've got your hands full!" and i just laugh. except for a few hours in the afternoon all of my kids are home all day. and at times our home is just as you might expect it to be- - kinda crazy! and at times i feel just like people expect me to feel-- like i've seriously got my hands full! but at times it is just calm and pleasant and fun and not really at all like some might imagine.

i think a natural result of being a parent is the natural struggle of knowing how to parent your kids! it is such a weight on my shoulders and i definitely feel a burden as i continually question whether i am doing what is best for my children! i have a long way to go in order to be the kind of parent i think i should be, and a lot to learn. and even when i do gain insights on parenting, i furthermore struggle to follow through and do what i know i should. but i strive to be better every day and i think that's all i can try for right now!

with all my faults and failings as a parent, however, i have gained some insights that have helped me.. a few tactics that, in my current state as a mom with 4 young kids at home, have helped me cope with the ever-daunting task of tending to the needs of these little ones while also having time for myself and the tasks of the home. every mother is different and so is every child but today i thought i would share one parenting approach that i feel has helped me...

1. limit media

 soo we don't watch a lot of tv in our house. i'm a little embarrassed to admit, but most days, none. and then sometimes we'll have a movie night once a week. or watch a couple shows. its not that i actively sought to limit it, it just sort of happened.. somehow along the way of establishing routines and such, tv just did not become part of it! and so i've stuck with it! we wake up, eat breakfast, play, read, color, run errands, go outside, visit grandmas, etc...  it's not something we really think about and when the kids are bored, they have "down time" and read books, color, relax... or they work together to entertain themselves.. they create cities with blocks, construct sites in the sandbox, they reenact stories, movies, or experiences. their imagination becomes their greatest liberation.

so how does this help me as a parent? like i said, i have 4 little ones at home virtually all day. so it takes a huge load of pressure off of me when they can entertain themselves. and for the most part, that's what they do. i'm not saying i don't interact or play along with them and such, but for those times throughout the day when i need to tend to other things, it helps to know my kids aren't completely dependent on me or something else to keep them occupied.

<<why>>

so i feel limiting media is an approach that has helped us a lot, be it good/bad/right/wrong! it's not doctrine, just something i feel. and since recognizing its influence on our home, something i feel pretty strongly about. i often worry that i am going about it in a "too extreme" sort of way... but as a parent in this media-driven world, where screens are accessible essentially all the time, i feel it is more important than ever to be extra particular about media usage, especially as it pertains to childhood. childhood is so invaluable. it is such an influential part of a person's life and yet is so fleeting. right now my kids are little and i feel i need to let them be little. they are just beginning to experience so many aspects of the world and i feel its imperative for them to really experience it..  let them see, hear, feel, taste, smell.. in simple and direct ways.. in order to gain perspective of what's truly around them. and probably most importantly, they need to play. and i feel too often, media gets in the way of that. it deprives them of so many sensory experiences that i think are so imperative to childhood.

another aspect of media that influences my parental approach is the dependency it creates upon the user[s]. i don't feel like kids need to be entertained all the time. they are kids... energetic, creative., excited about the world.. so much is new to them and i feel there is enough to keep them entertained without the influence of media. i know i have enough toys in my house alone to entertain {more kids than my own} for YEARS!! but i don't think there is anything wrong with boredom. as a parent, it's easy to take a "bored" child personally, and we turn to media to rescue us from this "parental failing". however, while too much boredom may become troublesome, i feel in general it encourages creativity, independence, moments of reflection, and growth. if we constantly depend on media to annihilate boredom, we annihilate many good things as well.

so, as with all parenting approaches i go by, i seriously question whether what i am doing is best for my children, and i have my worries... but despite them, this works for us right now. and i feel it brings more peace and harmony to our home and greater joy to me as a parent as i see my children create, and invent, play and experience life like only a child can.

feeling superstitious

spent most of the day hiking in the superstition mountains. i'd been itching to do this hike  and it did not disappoint! in fact it was way better than i had even envisioned! the kiddos did awesome. they were pretty tired at times but so many people told us on our way up "it is so worth it!" and i think the kids thought so too in the end... they had a blast climbing around and didn't want to leave!! it was a beautiful day and the views were amazing!!! a new favorite, i definitely recommend this hike!!

Let Padawans be Padawans

Watched star wars tonight. (a new hope). The entire time with my 6 year old in mind wondering whether I should let him watch. I'm thinkin bout it but I just don't think I'm ready yet. He'd probably love it but part of me thinks "he's little.. just let him be little." He's happy with the kiddie shows and such. And once I start introducing high action realistic (the old ones) adult type shows, I think his standard will change completely.  And even though he hasn't seen the movies, my boy still can and does "love" star wars! i tell him the stories, read him books, play the characters... for him right now i think he has more fun imagining it than anything! this morning he said "when i grow up, i'm going to be a jedi.. and go to the moon.. and maybe make the moon trip like a camp out! and then go to another galaxy after i go to the moon!" maybe for now he doesn't have to see it to enjoy it! Anyways I found this nice little guide and loved it.

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/star-wars-age-by-age-guide

I'm not making any promises but I think I'll take its advice and stick with legos for now.

my first post!

we'll see how long this lasts. honestly i don't plan on putting too much time or thought into this. i have a family blog that ive kept going for years that is hard enough to keep up on. but i've been thinking about having a "just for fun" blog for a while and after a semi-impulsive decision to quit social media today, it seemed like a better alternative. honestly i'm home a lot and its nice to feel like my voice is being heard. i think that is one thing that makes social media so appealing. but i've been feeling like the negatives of it were outweighing the positives... for example, the time wasting, the comparisons, the compulsive need to be continually "up to date" on everything... i love to stay connected with people but at the same time i was feeling like it was actually making me less connected! i didn't have to ask what someone did on friday night, i could just read it on facebook! im not a big talker so an excuse to not talk does not help me in that!;). and at the end of the day instead of connecting with my husband and wanting to recap our day, i felt like i needed to get up to date on all the status updates i missed during the day! in a nutshell it was making me feel more connected while in reality it was making me less connected with the ones closest to me. but anyways, its not all bad or anything and i might be back. i'm just really trying to better myself right now and balance and prioritize and so i think this will be good for me to reach some goals! But it will be hard. Really the way social media has taken over it seems like you'll be forgotten if you're not a part of it! But hopefully I'll be gaining more than I'm giving up. anyways, ta ta for now!;)

***i came across one of my favorite conference talks and thought i would add it!
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/of-regrets-and-resolutions?cid=HP_TH_1-7-2016_dPFD_fGC_xLIDyL2-3_&lang=eng
a great read to begin the new year!!

**FYI, i still update my old blog steveandbrindyarnett.blogspot.com
leave a comment if you want an invite!