all the money in the world

i'm in the middle of this book right now and love it! this and my last book have really led to some "deep thinking" for me. i'm recognizing that many things that i do are a result of expectations.. that i think i'm "supposed" to do them because that's what i see everyone around me doing. but after reading these books it's really opened my eyes to why i do things and how i might personalize some aspects of my life in order to be happier. i've learned a bit about "minimalist" lifestyles and learning that less can be more...  that often we can actually do/have/be a lot with very little. more is not essential. or even necessary to be happy.

all these thoughts come at a time when my husband and i are at a bit of a "crossroads" of our lives. we had been at one even before his job loss this month. things have been rather uncertain, so i guess his recent job loss couldn't have come at a more opportune time! these past couple years have brought job loss, new jobs, exploration of new careers, opportunities to purchase businesses... etc!

 and we're working to determine what we want most in life and what it's worth to get it. i think i've been so set on trying to "have it all".. steve's income in his profession is quite limited, so we've always been set on doing more, so we can bring in more, and ultimately have more. but just lately i'm realizing that everything has its costs and rarely do we get something without giving up something else to get it. ie:  time, money, energy, space, relationships, "things"...etc. what do we have to give up to get it and do we really need as much as we think? 

also i'm learning that although my dreams may not be realistic with our income, there may be more attainable ways to achieve dreams that we may not otherwise have the means to fulfill in our lives. there's ways to cut around costs in order to have what makes you happy.  for instance, my ultimate dream in life is to have land-- more wide open spaces around me-- and horses! basically what i grew up with. i'm pretty certain that if it weren't for wanting this, i would have very little drive to pursue higher income, except for the sense of security that it brings. but though i won't give up on it, i may not ever have this, or fulfill this dream. the only way in our current circumstances would mean moving somewhere i don't want to live, and away from people i want to be close to. so there is a cost i'm not yet willing to pay. but i can still find ways to be happy. i can enjoy wide open spaces.. i can hike, camp, visit parks, ride bikes, drive by fields...etc. and then i am very blessed that my parents have land and horses so i can go over there and get my fill! so while i would love to have it, i recognize that i may not, but that i can find fulfillment that is within my means. 

so we have a lot to think about. a lot to prioritize. but one thing i know for sure is that we would like  be more self-reliant. steve having lost his job twice in a couple years and being left with no income makes us want to seek a way to not rely on someone else for all our earnings. whether it's a side job, a hobby, our own business, living more simply and saving more, whatever it is.. we would like to be more self reliant.

i have dog-eared so many pages in this last book, i'm pretty reluctant to send it back to the library! but a couple little passages that stood out to me {and aren't entire pages!} 

"Happiness.. is the result of conscious choices."

"I don't want to be the Joneses... There's no point trying to keep up when you're thrilled with what you've got."

"The happiest people don't need to get and spend. They achieve fulfillment via self-sufficiency and nurturing their connection with the earth."

"Money is just a tool, like fire. Some people misuse fire, and some people assign too much meaning to money-- whether they love it or hate it.  But like most tools, it's really just a more efficient and useful means toward whatever ends we desire. Even achieving happiness."

i'm sure there'd be a zillion more if i could go thru it better.. and when i actually finish the book! 

but anyways, this is random and i don't have time to make complete sense of it! but my thoughts in a nutshell:

rarely does anyone have it all. essentially everything has its cost.

so we need to ask..

what do we need in life? 

what do we want?

is it attainable and if so, what are the costs?

are they worth it?

and ultimately i think it's about

balance, prioritizing, and sacrifice.

and we can be happy regardless of how much/little we have. 

here is an lds conference address that i often recall when i think about what i want in life... 

favorite passage:

"This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time {or money} to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now."

Spring Cleaning!!

**i picked this book up at costco before the holidays. i was feeling particularly overwhelmed and this book seemed to call out to me! i'm only about 1/4 way through it but I already love it! definitely recommend it to everyone!!

i'm going to risk sounding like a spoiled, ungrateful person but lately i've been overwhelmed with "things," {aka: "stuff," "junk," "storage"} --the large amount of stuff in my home i just really don't care about or need but hold on to.. i've been quite burdened down by it actually. and i've found myself day dreaming of a much more simplistic lifestyle. .  to just have what i need and be happy. 

so i am making an effort to simplify our home.  we have a lot of stuff. and i like our stuff!  so it's hard. but since i am committed to a simpler lifestyle, i'm making a greater effort to overcome my hoarder-ish instincts!! and i've come up with a few guidelines to help me and i thought i would share... 

1. Know what you have 

and

 Have what you need.

i'm a pretty "frugal" person so i have a hard time not wanting to keep things in case i need them. but i think that's one of my biggest problems.. it's not possible for me to keep all the things i do need or want as well as all the things i might possibly {someday} need or want. i do feel it's important to be prepared, and have essentials on hand in case of emergencies, but as far as most of the "i might want to use this later" items are concerned, the majority of ones i sort through are not essential.  and i think in order to know what i have, i need to limit my possessions a bit and organize them in a way that they are useful to me. if i have a box sitting in my garage and i have no idea what's in it, what does it profit me? if i want an item that's in it, i won't know to look there and since i don't even know what's in the box, i probably don't even know i have the item to begin with.. i'll probably end up just buying it again anyways!

2. Create a system: everything has a place.

this is a big help for me. i like order. i feel like it makes cleaning and time spent maintaining the home so much more productive. instead of scrambling around, shuffling, stuffing when i clean, it becomes as simple as placing things where they go. 

3. "Burden or Blessing???"

like i mentioned in the beginning of this post, i feel at times "things" can become burdensome. so when it comes to discarding, this question is one i always ask myself. as i envision how i would like my home to be, asking this helps me focus on filling my home with things that bless my life and bring me joy, rather than burden me down by making my life more cluttered and stressful.. 

4. Make do with the space you have.

confession time: lately i've found myself daydreaming of all i could do with a bigger house, bigger yard, more storage space...etc! but then i have to bring myself back to reality and realize that it doesn't really matter how much space i have... i'm almost positive we will always fill it! when we were first married we lived in a 1-bedroom apartment and it actually fit our needs well, but we filled it. then we moved to a 2 bedroom for a short time... we filled that. then we moved to a house... you'd think the amount of extra space would be substantial but i was surprised how little time went by before we filled that too! and so that's where i am now... 4 kids later, still trying to maintain the amount of space/stuff so that we can fit in our house. but then i talk to people who raised 6+ kids in a tiny little house and made it work and it further proves to me that it's not the amount of space you have but how you use it and at times limit the amount of stuff to what you really need.

5. Spring cleaning, with kids.

the book has some good tips on this subject, but i think overall, the kid stuff is just hard. at times i feel it is impossible! and often i feel like we're drowning in toys! i'm pretty self conscious about it actually.. but i'm starting to not be so much. i feel like it's important to cater our home to our family's needs, and right now for me, i mostly need a place where me and my kids can play and enjoy being at home because that's where we spend most of our time! so when people come over they probably think our house is one giant toy box, and it kindve is!.. but i promise there is order to the "mayhem" {generally... i'm a work in progress, sometimes it really is just mayhem!;) } but here's a few rules i try to follow to help maintain a good "balance" with the kid stuff..

a. limit toys to ones they know they have, and the ones they really enjoy. 

this is why we have soo many toys.. my kids know what they have.. and they generally love all of it! somehow in their little world of a zillion toys, they actually know each and every one individually! where and when they got them...where they've played with it...etc! so it's hard for me to get rid of things when they actually use them.. so i figure as long as they're using them a lot, they earn their keep!

b. "quarantine box"-- i prey on the weak.. you can bet as soon as a toy receives even the slightest neglect, i'm on it like a hyena on a hurt wildebeest! it goes in a box in the garage! it stays in there a while and i sort through it every so often and get rid of the ones that have slipped out unnoticed. i should note there are exceptions..  for instance, some "neglected" toys are so because they are no longer age appropriate. since my kids ages and interests vary and other exceptional reasons, i do put certain things away to bring out at a later time.

c. everything has a place. having their toys organized helps them know what they have and access them easily. this makes picking up so much easier too! if i can't find a place for something i have to discard to make room.

**and a couple more things i've been working on... 

respect sentiments- i can't place value on things for others so when discarding i try to be understanding when someone in my home really values something i don't. and also-- be more particular about what i buy to begin with... it might be haunting me a whole lot longer than i expect!! and i've found sometimes it's good to not spend a lot on items {not just to be frugal}, but it makes it easier to part with them when you want to! and be careful with clearance items, garage sales, thrift stores, and garbage picking! these are all favorites of mine so i've learned the hard way that i have to be careful!! if it's cheap but i don't need it, i'm spending money on and storing things i don't need. also, the cost may come to me later with a loss of peace and excess of clutter in the house. garbage is my favorite of these though {obviously cause it's free} but because it didn't cost my anything, i don't feel guilty if/when i need to throw it out! and lastly, remember quality vs. quantity.. i think it's better to have 3 good pairs of shoes that i wear rather than 20 that i don't!!

anyways, there's some tips that help me. easier said than done, right?! i am far from perfect in this!! so wish me luck as i attempt to "simplify" our home a bit more. it's definitely gonna take some time and effort but i'm pretty sure it will bring our lives much greater peace and enjoyment!!