all the money in the world

i'm in the middle of this book right now and love it! this and my last book have really led to some "deep thinking" for me. i'm recognizing that many things that i do are a result of expectations.. that i think i'm "supposed" to do them because that's what i see everyone around me doing. but after reading these books it's really opened my eyes to why i do things and how i might personalize some aspects of my life in order to be happier. i've learned a bit about "minimalist" lifestyles and learning that less can be more...  that often we can actually do/have/be a lot with very little. more is not essential. or even necessary to be happy.

all these thoughts come at a time when my husband and i are at a bit of a "crossroads" of our lives. we had been at one even before his job loss this month. things have been rather uncertain, so i guess his recent job loss couldn't have come at a more opportune time! these past couple years have brought job loss, new jobs, exploration of new careers, opportunities to purchase businesses... etc!

 and we're working to determine what we want most in life and what it's worth to get it. i think i've been so set on trying to "have it all".. steve's income in his profession is quite limited, so we've always been set on doing more, so we can bring in more, and ultimately have more. but just lately i'm realizing that everything has its costs and rarely do we get something without giving up something else to get it. ie:  time, money, energy, space, relationships, "things"...etc. what do we have to give up to get it and do we really need as much as we think? 

also i'm learning that although my dreams may not be realistic with our income, there may be more attainable ways to achieve dreams that we may not otherwise have the means to fulfill in our lives. there's ways to cut around costs in order to have what makes you happy.  for instance, my ultimate dream in life is to have land-- more wide open spaces around me-- and horses! basically what i grew up with. i'm pretty certain that if it weren't for wanting this, i would have very little drive to pursue higher income, except for the sense of security that it brings. but though i won't give up on it, i may not ever have this, or fulfill this dream. the only way in our current circumstances would mean moving somewhere i don't want to live, and away from people i want to be close to. so there is a cost i'm not yet willing to pay. but i can still find ways to be happy. i can enjoy wide open spaces.. i can hike, camp, visit parks, ride bikes, drive by fields...etc. and then i am very blessed that my parents have land and horses so i can go over there and get my fill! so while i would love to have it, i recognize that i may not, but that i can find fulfillment that is within my means. 

so we have a lot to think about. a lot to prioritize. but one thing i know for sure is that we would like  be more self-reliant. steve having lost his job twice in a couple years and being left with no income makes us want to seek a way to not rely on someone else for all our earnings. whether it's a side job, a hobby, our own business, living more simply and saving more, whatever it is.. we would like to be more self reliant.

i have dog-eared so many pages in this last book, i'm pretty reluctant to send it back to the library! but a couple little passages that stood out to me {and aren't entire pages!} 

"Happiness.. is the result of conscious choices."

"I don't want to be the Joneses... There's no point trying to keep up when you're thrilled with what you've got."

"The happiest people don't need to get and spend. They achieve fulfillment via self-sufficiency and nurturing their connection with the earth."

"Money is just a tool, like fire. Some people misuse fire, and some people assign too much meaning to money-- whether they love it or hate it.  But like most tools, it's really just a more efficient and useful means toward whatever ends we desire. Even achieving happiness."

i'm sure there'd be a zillion more if i could go thru it better.. and when i actually finish the book! 

but anyways, this is random and i don't have time to make complete sense of it! but my thoughts in a nutshell:

rarely does anyone have it all. essentially everything has its cost.

so we need to ask..

what do we need in life? 

what do we want?

is it attainable and if so, what are the costs?

are they worth it?

and ultimately i think it's about

balance, prioritizing, and sacrifice.

and we can be happy regardless of how much/little we have. 

here is an lds conference address that i often recall when i think about what i want in life... 

favorite passage:

"This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time {or money} to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now."

look for the good

bad news this week. and i'm not sure where to begin...

these past couple years has been a whirlwind for our family. this whirlwind actually started about 3 years ago with steve leaving a cozy job and accepting a position that was outside his comfort and experience level. he wanted to grow and knew he couldn't where he was. and he did grow, however, a year and a half ago he was let go from this position. and that's when it became hard.  we managed though.. a lot of uncertainty and anxiety and tears, but he found work where he could. which eventually led to his "current" position... which, in a nutshell, was all fine and dandy until this week,  it has also come to an end. to put it lightly, we are shocked, devastated, angry, and confused. just a tornado of emotions and i'm afraid it's all without any real explanation.

after our last bout with unemployment, i was finally feeling confident (not guilty) again, like we could afford to "splurge" on little luxuries.. i put the kids in their first sports/dance classes, we spent money on family outings, planned future vacations. i didn't fret over every single dollar and cent. and now we're back in the midst of it all over again. back to the "not knowing" and carrying the heavy weight of eliminating everything but the essential. and so i have to be honest, all this had left me feeling a little bitter. like seriously, we have to go through this again?? 

but i'm not here to complain. i have too much to be grateful for. and just today i finally came to the point where i knew i must shake off these negative feelings and carry on. we all have trials in life. some we get through and move on, and some we have to tackle over and over and over again. and it just seems wrong sometimes. like it's not supposed to be this way. and we think all we need is for the trial to be over. that's what we need and it will be ok. but sometimes what we really need is what the trial can bring us.. like knowledge, understanding, perspective, growth and ultimately change. so that's where i'm at. all i can hope for right now is that this trial will pass quickly, but i'm not going to become bitter if it doesn't. no matter how bad this may seem, or how hard it might be, good can come in unexpected ways.

parenting and media pt.2

i love the site "aha! parenting"..

i found it a few years ago and {when i follow her advice} it helps so much with how i deal with my kids! i feel i've been struggling more lately to react the way i should, so i browsed thru it tonight for a refresher/advice. i just so happened to stumble upon this page...

http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/intelligent-creative-child/tv-compromises-academics

and i was pretty excited about it! 

i feel like this blog's taken a much more serious tone than i had planned, and i worry i may sound "know-it-all" or such and like i'm on a soap box with my posts!  and i worry too that my opinions may seem a bit extreme... especially my "parenting and media" one. so i was excited to read this article on media and to have it pretty much echo exactly how i feel about the subject! sooo, if i didn't make sense in my post before, check out her site, it's very interesting! a little "outside the box" thinking and i like it!

******

and if you're interested in just a couple good reads from her site, loved this one...

 just some general good advice!!

http://www.ahaparenting.com/Ages-stages/school-age/your-gameplan

and loved this one too.
http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positive-discipline/Consequences_Punishment
when i first read through this site, i was pretty astonished that she pretty much discourages all forms of punishment! i first read it when i was just starting to have to really "parent" my oldest and we would get in these huge "power struggles" and there were a couple days i felt like it was nothing but fights! i just reacted the way i thought i was "supposed to.." he'd do something wrong, i'd send him to timeout. he felt bad, so he did something else bad, i sent him to timeout, he felt bad... it just never ended! so then i tried her approach and his response changed dramatically! i realized punishing my kid was actually causing more of a problem than there was to begin with! since i changed my approach, i can't recall having another fighting day like that. it works well for us.. when i can follow it.. i'm not gonna lie, it's still hard not to threaten!!

being a mom

i remember before i was a mom, i had all sorts of worries about motherhood. and one of them was how i would like it. not that i didn't like kids, or want my own, but i really worried i would feel "bored" and "tied down" being home with them all day! i didn't babysit very much but when i did as a kid and young adult, i did feel rather bored.. perhaps because it wasn't at my own home, or with my own kids, or cause the kids just wanted to watch tv the whole time, but it was a bit mind numbing to me! 

now that i am a mother i think how silly those worries were. i absolutely love being a mom. there's hardly a dull moment and i'm probably the LEAST bored i have ever been! every day is an adventure with these little ones, even if we never set foot outside our door!

and as far as being "tied down"... it's true, i'm very limited on what i can do. and at times i do need a break, but at the same time i don't think i've ever felt so liberated- to play such a substantial role in someone else's life gives so much more value to what i do and the person i am. i feel it drives me, motivates me, and inspires me to strive to be better in every aspect of my life. don't get me wrong, it's definitely challenging! but never in my life have i done anything so worthwhile.

i really do love what i do

and i am so grateful for my children. all their little examples of goodness are like rays of light to my life. i learn so much from them and so often i thank heaven that i
could be so blessed!

Spring Cleaning!!

**i picked this book up at costco before the holidays. i was feeling particularly overwhelmed and this book seemed to call out to me! i'm only about 1/4 way through it but I already love it! definitely recommend it to everyone!!

i'm going to risk sounding like a spoiled, ungrateful person but lately i've been overwhelmed with "things," {aka: "stuff," "junk," "storage"} --the large amount of stuff in my home i just really don't care about or need but hold on to.. i've been quite burdened down by it actually. and i've found myself day dreaming of a much more simplistic lifestyle. .  to just have what i need and be happy. 

so i am making an effort to simplify our home.  we have a lot of stuff. and i like our stuff!  so it's hard. but since i am committed to a simpler lifestyle, i'm making a greater effort to overcome my hoarder-ish instincts!! and i've come up with a few guidelines to help me and i thought i would share... 

1. Know what you have 

and

 Have what you need.

i'm a pretty "frugal" person so i have a hard time not wanting to keep things in case i need them. but i think that's one of my biggest problems.. it's not possible for me to keep all the things i do need or want as well as all the things i might possibly {someday} need or want. i do feel it's important to be prepared, and have essentials on hand in case of emergencies, but as far as most of the "i might want to use this later" items are concerned, the majority of ones i sort through are not essential.  and i think in order to know what i have, i need to limit my possessions a bit and organize them in a way that they are useful to me. if i have a box sitting in my garage and i have no idea what's in it, what does it profit me? if i want an item that's in it, i won't know to look there and since i don't even know what's in the box, i probably don't even know i have the item to begin with.. i'll probably end up just buying it again anyways!

2. Create a system: everything has a place.

this is a big help for me. i like order. i feel like it makes cleaning and time spent maintaining the home so much more productive. instead of scrambling around, shuffling, stuffing when i clean, it becomes as simple as placing things where they go. 

3. "Burden or Blessing???"

like i mentioned in the beginning of this post, i feel at times "things" can become burdensome. so when it comes to discarding, this question is one i always ask myself. as i envision how i would like my home to be, asking this helps me focus on filling my home with things that bless my life and bring me joy, rather than burden me down by making my life more cluttered and stressful.. 

4. Make do with the space you have.

confession time: lately i've found myself daydreaming of all i could do with a bigger house, bigger yard, more storage space...etc! but then i have to bring myself back to reality and realize that it doesn't really matter how much space i have... i'm almost positive we will always fill it! when we were first married we lived in a 1-bedroom apartment and it actually fit our needs well, but we filled it. then we moved to a 2 bedroom for a short time... we filled that. then we moved to a house... you'd think the amount of extra space would be substantial but i was surprised how little time went by before we filled that too! and so that's where i am now... 4 kids later, still trying to maintain the amount of space/stuff so that we can fit in our house. but then i talk to people who raised 6+ kids in a tiny little house and made it work and it further proves to me that it's not the amount of space you have but how you use it and at times limit the amount of stuff to what you really need.

5. Spring cleaning, with kids.

the book has some good tips on this subject, but i think overall, the kid stuff is just hard. at times i feel it is impossible! and often i feel like we're drowning in toys! i'm pretty self conscious about it actually.. but i'm starting to not be so much. i feel like it's important to cater our home to our family's needs, and right now for me, i mostly need a place where me and my kids can play and enjoy being at home because that's where we spend most of our time! so when people come over they probably think our house is one giant toy box, and it kindve is!.. but i promise there is order to the "mayhem" {generally... i'm a work in progress, sometimes it really is just mayhem!;) } but here's a few rules i try to follow to help maintain a good "balance" with the kid stuff..

a. limit toys to ones they know they have, and the ones they really enjoy. 

this is why we have soo many toys.. my kids know what they have.. and they generally love all of it! somehow in their little world of a zillion toys, they actually know each and every one individually! where and when they got them...where they've played with it...etc! so it's hard for me to get rid of things when they actually use them.. so i figure as long as they're using them a lot, they earn their keep!

b. "quarantine box"-- i prey on the weak.. you can bet as soon as a toy receives even the slightest neglect, i'm on it like a hyena on a hurt wildebeest! it goes in a box in the garage! it stays in there a while and i sort through it every so often and get rid of the ones that have slipped out unnoticed. i should note there are exceptions..  for instance, some "neglected" toys are so because they are no longer age appropriate. since my kids ages and interests vary and other exceptional reasons, i do put certain things away to bring out at a later time.

c. everything has a place. having their toys organized helps them know what they have and access them easily. this makes picking up so much easier too! if i can't find a place for something i have to discard to make room.

**and a couple more things i've been working on... 

respect sentiments- i can't place value on things for others so when discarding i try to be understanding when someone in my home really values something i don't. and also-- be more particular about what i buy to begin with... it might be haunting me a whole lot longer than i expect!! and i've found sometimes it's good to not spend a lot on items {not just to be frugal}, but it makes it easier to part with them when you want to! and be careful with clearance items, garage sales, thrift stores, and garbage picking! these are all favorites of mine so i've learned the hard way that i have to be careful!! if it's cheap but i don't need it, i'm spending money on and storing things i don't need. also, the cost may come to me later with a loss of peace and excess of clutter in the house. garbage is my favorite of these though {obviously cause it's free} but because it didn't cost my anything, i don't feel guilty if/when i need to throw it out! and lastly, remember quality vs. quantity.. i think it's better to have 3 good pairs of shoes that i wear rather than 20 that i don't!!

anyways, there's some tips that help me. easier said than done, right?! i am far from perfect in this!! so wish me luck as i attempt to "simplify" our home a bit more. it's definitely gonna take some time and effort but i'm pretty sure it will bring our lives much greater peace and enjoyment!!

how "balloon chasers" came to be

it all started back in 2012. early february to be exact. it was just a regular saturday in the backyard when we realized our dogs were beyond hungry and it was off to the store for a quick dog food run. on the way something caught our eye.. what was it?? a hot balloon! two, in fact!! i guess you can say my need for adventure got the best of me and in a split second decision we were at its heels! it was wild. "like seeing a deer in the forest!" is how i described it {as opposed to being in a zoo}... we  chased, conquered and little did we know this was the beginning of a much greater adventure!

since then, we've chased dozens and dozens of balloons. we know just how to read them.. to tell if its "chase worthy" or within chasing bounds and have pinpointing landing spots down to a science. shoot, our accuracy rivals that of the official "chase vehicles!" {without inside information even}
anyways,

 before discovery channel gets a hold of our idea,

i wanna be the first to go behind the scenes of a real-life Balloon Chase..

so it all begins with 
"THE SIGHTING."

 this usually happens from our backyard... then we watch it a while and determine
1. if it's close.
2. if its preparing to land.
 if it's both those things, then comes...

 THE CHASE!

 since balloon chasing is generally unplanned, this usually begins with me throwing the kids in the car, most often with gross un-brushed, "rat nest" style hair, mid-makeup or with lip stick haphazardly applied to everywhere but on my actual lips, spit-up covered clothes... not to mention the kids' loaded diapers and dirt ridden faces... in all actuality, a real-life balloon chaser can be a scary sight!

and... just like on stormchasers, the chase can be somewhat dangerous and unpredictable.... but it's worth it if you succeed, because then comes the best part...

 THE CATCH!!!

really the only purpose for the chase is the catch.

so you can be there when they land and go up to them afterwards!

and we've definitely had some adventures! 

...looking out our car window to see one soaring just above us, being asked to toast with newly declared "aeronauts," hanging out on the basket... even getting to be part of the crew that puts away the balloon! 

  

so before hollywood gets a hold of it and dramatizes it,

 there's an idea of what happens on a real-life balloon chase!

i know it's pretty weird and we must look like total dorks, but that's ok..
we love it!!

and if anyone asks we just say "we just do it for the kids!" ;)

parenting and media.

so, i have 4 kids.. ages 3 months, 2, 4, and 6... i don't think of 4 as being that many kids but its funny how many comments i get when i go to the store with them, are at the park, hiking.. or even from people looking into my window when stopped at a traffic light! the most common phrase i hear is "whoa, you've got your hands full!" and i just laugh. except for a few hours in the afternoon all of my kids are home all day. and at times our home is just as you might expect it to be- - kinda crazy! and at times i feel just like people expect me to feel-- like i've seriously got my hands full! but at times it is just calm and pleasant and fun and not really at all like some might imagine.

i think a natural result of being a parent is the natural struggle of knowing how to parent your kids! it is such a weight on my shoulders and i definitely feel a burden as i continually question whether i am doing what is best for my children! i have a long way to go in order to be the kind of parent i think i should be, and a lot to learn. and even when i do gain insights on parenting, i furthermore struggle to follow through and do what i know i should. but i strive to be better every day and i think that's all i can try for right now!

with all my faults and failings as a parent, however, i have gained some insights that have helped me.. a few tactics that, in my current state as a mom with 4 young kids at home, have helped me cope with the ever-daunting task of tending to the needs of these little ones while also having time for myself and the tasks of the home. every mother is different and so is every child but today i thought i would share one parenting approach that i feel has helped me...

1. limit media

 soo we don't watch a lot of tv in our house. i'm a little embarrassed to admit, but most days, none. and then sometimes we'll have a movie night once a week. or watch a couple shows. its not that i actively sought to limit it, it just sort of happened.. somehow along the way of establishing routines and such, tv just did not become part of it! and so i've stuck with it! we wake up, eat breakfast, play, read, color, run errands, go outside, visit grandmas, etc...  it's not something we really think about and when the kids are bored, they have "down time" and read books, color, relax... or they work together to entertain themselves.. they create cities with blocks, construct sites in the sandbox, they reenact stories, movies, or experiences. their imagination becomes their greatest liberation.

so how does this help me as a parent? like i said, i have 4 little ones at home virtually all day. so it takes a huge load of pressure off of me when they can entertain themselves. and for the most part, that's what they do. i'm not saying i don't interact or play along with them and such, but for those times throughout the day when i need to tend to other things, it helps to know my kids aren't completely dependent on me or something else to keep them occupied.

<<why>>

so i feel limiting media is an approach that has helped us a lot, be it good/bad/right/wrong! it's not doctrine, just something i feel. and since recognizing its influence on our home, something i feel pretty strongly about. i often worry that i am going about it in a "too extreme" sort of way... but as a parent in this media-driven world, where screens are accessible essentially all the time, i feel it is more important than ever to be extra particular about media usage, especially as it pertains to childhood. childhood is so invaluable. it is such an influential part of a person's life and yet is so fleeting. right now my kids are little and i feel i need to let them be little. they are just beginning to experience so many aspects of the world and i feel its imperative for them to really experience it..  let them see, hear, feel, taste, smell.. in simple and direct ways.. in order to gain perspective of what's truly around them. and probably most importantly, they need to play. and i feel too often, media gets in the way of that. it deprives them of so many sensory experiences that i think are so imperative to childhood.

another aspect of media that influences my parental approach is the dependency it creates upon the user[s]. i don't feel like kids need to be entertained all the time. they are kids... energetic, creative., excited about the world.. so much is new to them and i feel there is enough to keep them entertained without the influence of media. i know i have enough toys in my house alone to entertain {more kids than my own} for YEARS!! but i don't think there is anything wrong with boredom. as a parent, it's easy to take a "bored" child personally, and we turn to media to rescue us from this "parental failing". however, while too much boredom may become troublesome, i feel in general it encourages creativity, independence, moments of reflection, and growth. if we constantly depend on media to annihilate boredom, we annihilate many good things as well.

so, as with all parenting approaches i go by, i seriously question whether what i am doing is best for my children, and i have my worries... but despite them, this works for us right now. and i feel it brings more peace and harmony to our home and greater joy to me as a parent as i see my children create, and invent, play and experience life like only a child can.